Sarah K Tyler

Remember how I sterilized everything in the house when baby was spitting up more than usual? How cute was I in my naivety. Nicki has her first cold. It started a week ago and I can assure you baby colds are every bit as bad as it’s rumored to be.

Nicki surprised us by waking up in the middle of the night a week ago Wednesday. Something she never does anymore. I thought I had jinxed her wonderful sleep habits by talking about them here! She had coughed herself awake, but other than that one episode she seemed fine. She had no other symptoms. Then Domingo got sick Thursday night. Sore throat, aches, the whole shebang. He kept his distance from the baby Friday, but by Saturday morning both she and I were showing the same symptoms. By that Saturday afternoon, all three of us were in full blown cold mode.

We all had sore throats. Trouble is, Nicki would cry to let us know she was uncomfortable. The crying made her throat worse, so she’d cry louder, which made it even worser. We were trapped in terrible feedback loop so we called the pediatric advice nurse. The nurse told us to run the humidifier, saline drops and steam baths. Since Nicki was three months, we could also try some acetaminophen. Luckily we had just been to the doctor, so I knew her weight and we could figure out the right dose. The acetaminophen seemed to help.

Getting her to suck on a pacifier also seemed to help the sore throat. Timing being what it was, though, she had started rejecting the soothie pacifiers. She’d suck on the pacifier once or twice before loosing patience with it. So we were off to the store again to try the brand her day care recommended.

Her cold got worse through the weekend. She was so congested she couldn’t breathe threw her nose with all that congestion. She woke up every three hours screaming. Poor baby was exhausted. At 3 a.m. Sunday I just decided to stay up with her. I sat in the nursing chair and held her upright so she could sleep on me until morning.

We had a little reprieve during the week. My parents were visiting, so after Domingo and I did the “night” shift, they’d get the morning shift and give me a chance to nap. Poor Domingo had to go to work on very little sleep. (Have I told you he’s the best Dad, ever?) Nicki was such a trooper, smiling during the day through the sniffles.

When her cold didn’t abate after a week, we decided to call again on Thursday to see if there was anything else we could do. Nope. Saline drops, bulb syringe, steam rooms, and wait it out. She tolerated the bulb syringe, as long as we didn’t try too many attempts to liberate the snot. The drops were tantamount to baby torture. She started crying as soon as she saw the bottle. Not good. Not good at all.

I called the advice nurse for a third time again yesterday. Nicki’s coughing fits seemed to be getting worse. Sometimes it sounded like she was chocking, and often didn’t end until she had spit up. One time it seemed like she had spit up the entire bottle. Since she had been sick over a week, I was getting very concerned. The advice nurse set us up an appointment with the weekend doctor since Nicki had been sick for over a week. He listened to her chest to make sure it wasn’t something serious, and checked her ears for signs of ear infections. Just a cold. Just a cold. He told us it could last 2 to 3 weeks and the average is 6-10 colds in the first year.

10 colds lasting 3 weeks would mean Nicki would be sick 58% of her first year of life! Even 6 colds at 2 weeks a piece would be 23%. Here’s hoping she gets better soon. Two and a half more months until she can get a flu shot.

No, I’m not talking about peanut butter, but what kind of mother I’ll be. I knew that I may have an idea of what kind of mother I would want to be before Nicki gets here, but she would also have her own personality and preferences which may be at odds with mine. I’m also a firm believer in “whatever works” and that you never know what will work until you’re actually in the situation, so I tried not to get too hung up on any one ideal. Now that we’re almost a month into things, I’m getting more comfortable in this mom-gig thing. I’m recognizing her cues more, and able to respond to her needs sooner. I can say I’m not crunchy or creamy, but somewhere in the middle.

Labor and Delivery – There was no way I was going to feel comfortable delivering anywhere but a hospital. Even in the most perfect of pregnancies there is a small chance that something could go wrong. I need the piece of mind that in in the off chance that we were in a situation where seconds matter, I would be close to doctors and medical equipment. I also had no qualms scheduling an induction once I was past due, or requesting an epidural (though I was nervous about the epidural!), but I labored and delivered with a midwife, not a doctor.

Sleeping – We co-sleep. Nicki sleeps next to me in her Rock n’ Play. We also have a crib in the nursery that we’ll use when she’s too big for the Rock n’ Play, but for this stage I really love having her close. Being able to look down and see my baby as she sleeps is pretty awesome. Rocking her back to sleep when she stirs in the middle of the night without getting out of bed is pretty great too.

I did also consider bed sharing when we arrived home from the hospital. In those early days it seemed like we would all get more sleep that way. But we didn’t have a specialty bassinet for bed sharing, and our bed didn’t seem safe without one.

Feeding – My goal was to breastfeed, but breastfeeding at the hospital was a big fat failure. We decided to focus first on whether Nicki was getting enough, then about what she was eating (formula or breastmilk) and finally how she was eating (bottle or breast). Luckily for me, Nicki’s preferences are matching mine. She prefers breastmilk over formula, and from the tap over bottled. By the end of the first week we were off formula completely, and by three weeks we were successfully nursing on a regular basis.

We still drink expressed breastmilk from a bottle for some feedings throughout the day. I’m cool with that. It gives Domingo an additional chance to bond with her and provides a break for me. I’d be cool with formula, too, if that’s what we ended up with. Formula is guaranteed to have all the right vitamins. Our health care provider finds most breastfeed babies don’t get enough vitamins, and recommends vitamin drops to breastfeed babies. I am pro-breastmilk for my family primarily for the antibodies, and plan to continue breastfeeding/pumping at least until her immune system kicks in more fully – somewhere between six months to one year. We’ll decide where to go from there once we get there. Some of that will depend on Nicki, and whether she is still interested in nursing/breastmilk.

Diapering – The cheapskate in me loved the idea of cloth diapering. (Not buying new diapers at 35 cents a pop for 10+ changes a day for two years? Sign me up!) But after doing some research I realized disposable diapers may actually have a slightly smaller carbon footprint than cloth. That’s because of the water, energy and detergent needed to clean them. We’re living in a very arid environment, prone to droughts, so I have to believe that’s even more true here. Of course, water, energy and detergent cost something too. So, for us, we decided to stick with disposable diapers.

Baby Wearing – I love it, and, more importantly, she loves it! I wrap Nicki up in the Moby, and she settles down instantly most of the time. She even sleeps in it. It frees up my hands so I can get chores done around the house. We also have an Ergo Baby Carrier for when she gets bigger.

So that’s me. Nicki’s mom. Every day I’m a little better at being Nicki’s mom than the day before.