August 17, 2012

Confession Time

I already miss being pregnant. It’s been a little over a month since Nicki’s arrival, and while I’m excited she’s here and love staring into those beautiful dark blue eyes, I miss being pregnant.

I was reading a recent blog post about someone else who recently found out the gender of their baby, and it brought back so many memories. I remember all the excitement I felt when I first heard “it’s a girl!” We were only 12 weeks along, in the middle of our NT scan. I was so scarred that Zippy would have potter’s syndrome. I was so scared that something would go wrong in those first 12 weeks, and when it wasn’t an ectopic pregnancy, or a blighted ovum, I had convinced myself it was potter’s syndrome. So it was a huge wave of relief when the technician remarked “aww, baby’s bladder is full, just like’s mommy!”

Zippy was not cooperating at the NT scan, doing headstands and mooning the technician, during all the important measurements, I remember seeing the ridges in her brain during the scan, and counting her ribs. But when it came to checking the gender she had no problem showing off the goods. Just like in the blog post I was reading, I was in disbelief that the baby was a girl given the number of boys born into my husband’s family. Since it was the NT scan, and very early to make a gender prediction, the news didn’t really sink in. I made some comment about holding off on painting the nursery, you know, just in case, to which the ultrasound technician responded, “No seriously, it’s a girl. If it’s not a girl, you’re need to call me, because it’s a girl.” It was the neatest experience, one I will never forget.

I remember our first OB appointment at just 6 weeks along. Zippy was so small, all I could make out on the ultrasound was the solid little body attached to a yoke sack nearly twice her size, and the tiny flicker of the heart. And then we heard it for the very first time – 150 beats for minute. Girl territory according to the old wives tale. Of course, at the next appointment, baby’s heartbeat was around 130 – boy territory.

I remember at the 1st Anatomy Scan turning to Domingo and said “This is the last time we will see her brain. Hopefully.” I was thinking specifically when she was out of utero, but how ironic that statement given the follow up anatomy scan to see that very organ.

I miss feeling the flutters, kicks and somersaults for the first time. I remember how we all laughed, Domingo, I and the midwife when Zippy kicked the sonogram wand off my stomach during one of our mid pregnancy appointments. Domingo and I had a running joke that Zippy would get ‘not a cooperator’ on her kindergarten report card.

I even miss the labor and delivery aspect of being pregnant – the excitement of ‘this is it!’, the contractions (at least the mild ones). I wouldn’t say I’m ready for another yet, but I do miss the pregnancy phase, and the excitement that comes with starting a family.

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